This is Part 3 of a series telling about the loss I experienced with my first pregnancy almost 7 years ago.
If you are new, please first read:
♥Part 1:A Win and a Loss
♥Part 2:The Beginning of the End
3 hours after arriving in the E.R., I was still sitting in an exam room waiting to find out the cause of my bleeding and cramping. At 12 weeks pregnant, I feared the worst. Finally the doctor returned with "Good news and bad news". My first thought was, "maybe we're having twins!". My bubble was soon burst as the doctor declared that the baby had either "died at 9 weeks or we had a blighted ovum".
What is a blighted ovum? It is when conception occurs, but something happens that causes the baby to stop developing very early on. Instead of the body miscarrying right away, the sac and placenta continue to grow as though there is a healthy baby inside.
Confused, devastated, and heart broken, I cried once again. I don't remember much else from that night other than one of the doctor's last comments to us. He told my husband and I to be careful to stay together through the pain rather than push each other apart as many couples do.
With a prescription for pain medication in hand, my husband somehow got me home that night. The next day I received meals and phone calls from friends. My pregnancy was confirmed as a blighted ovum after having a follow-up ultrasound, and this time I was allowed to see the screen. There was my womb with a large sac inside, but no baby.
Looking down at my own belly was like a cruel joke. For the past 8 weeks I had thought a baby was growing and developing just as it should have. I had no idea that my womb was a tomb. Empty and now barren, holding no visible remains of the one that had been so precious to me.
After 5 nights of agonizingly painful labor, it was over. However, the emotional pain had just begun.
to be continued...
♥Part 1:A Win and a Loss
♥Part 2:The Beginning of the End
3 hours after arriving in the E.R., I was still sitting in an exam room waiting to find out the cause of my bleeding and cramping. At 12 weeks pregnant, I feared the worst. Finally the doctor returned with "Good news and bad news". My first thought was, "maybe we're having twins!". My bubble was soon burst as the doctor declared that the baby had either "died at 9 weeks or we had a blighted ovum".
What is a blighted ovum? It is when conception occurs, but something happens that causes the baby to stop developing very early on. Instead of the body miscarrying right away, the sac and placenta continue to grow as though there is a healthy baby inside.
Confused, devastated, and heart broken, I cried once again. I don't remember much else from that night other than one of the doctor's last comments to us. He told my husband and I to be careful to stay together through the pain rather than push each other apart as many couples do.
With a prescription for pain medication in hand, my husband somehow got me home that night. The next day I received meals and phone calls from friends. My pregnancy was confirmed as a blighted ovum after having a follow-up ultrasound, and this time I was allowed to see the screen. There was my womb with a large sac inside, but no baby.
Looking down at my own belly was like a cruel joke. For the past 8 weeks I had thought a baby was growing and developing just as it should have. I had no idea that my womb was a tomb. Empty and now barren, holding no visible remains of the one that had been so precious to me.
After 5 nights of agonizingly painful labor, it was over. However, the emotional pain had just begun.
to be continued...
I'm so sorry that you went through this. I had the very same thing happen, in two agonizing episodes.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your pain.
ReplyDeleteI never had a blighted ovum, but we did lose a little one. It is extremely painful.
Sorry you are having to go through it.
I am very sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteI understand what you mean when you say your womb was a tomb, I've been there. If I could give you comfort I would. If I could take away your pain, I would.
Blessings and comfort to you.
Dawn
I'm so very sorry. I suffered a blighted ovum a year and a half ago. The emotional pain is indescribable. And it goes on and on while waiting to miscarry. And physical pain, too. There is a nice website, misdiagnosedmiscarriages.com, which is a good place to go for miscarriage support, whether you are misdiagnosed or not. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteAgain, I'm so sorry for what you went through. It is completely devastating, something I don't think anyone can understand fully unless they've been through it. I've had 3 pregnancy losses and the pain (both emotional and physical) is excruciating. I think it's something you never truly get over.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the kind words, but this is actually the story of my first pregnancy. I'm sorry, I had that at the top of part 1, but I will go ahead and add it in on this one as well.
ReplyDeleteI have 2 more posts planned, tommorow's telling the story of the 6 months after the loss up to my pregnancy with my first son, Zion.
Thank you again for the nice words! I'm sorry for the confusion!
Rose- you went through this twice?!? I'm so sorry!
ReplyDeleteOpus#6- I have spent a lot of time on that website! After my miscarriage, I was SO scared it would happen again.
Helene, Courtney, Christianlady- I'm sorry you experienced losses as well. So many women experience miscarriages. I had no idea just how many until I went through one, then I found out most of my friends had had one too.
I found your blog through the nominee bloguluxe. I had this too before my third- here is my post on it,
ReplyDeletehttp://acquiringbalance.blogspot.com/2010/02/loving-loss.html
I am thinking of having 2 more and making us a family with five children. I do not know though because pregnancy is so hard for me. We started our family at 19. Anyway it is neat to come across your blog now when I am contemplating five:)