Wednesday, February 22, 2012

To the reader who was pregnant with her 4th...

Last night, I received an e-mail from a reader, M., who was pregnant with her 4th. child. I typed a message back, but when I clicked, "send", the message was bounced back to me. It stated that M.'s e-mail address didn't exist. After looking at the original message again, I realized that it was dated April 2011! Somehow M.'s e-mail took 10 months to reach my inbox. Although M.'s message was so long ago, I would like to share it here as well as my e-mail back. Maybe someone else reading this is in a similar situation as M. and needs encouragement too.

M.'s e-mail:

Hello, My name is M., I have 3 children all born by c-section aged 14, 12 and 8 i just found out this week that I'm about 5 weeks pregnant.
When i was 17 i had my ovary taken out and then after my 3rd baby i had an ectopic pregnancies and my tube was taken, At which time i was told i would not be able to fall pregnant again. So almost 5 years on i was very shocked to find out iam in fact pregnant.
I went to the Doctors today who has advised me not to have the baby, as he thinks you should not have any more then 3 c-sections. I felt the doctors crying and feeling sick to my stomach, when i got home i started looking on the internet and found many women who have had 4, 5, 6 even up to 8 c-section, Which made me feel a bit better after reading this. I'm still very scared as i want this baby more then any thing. Any advice you could please give me would be very appreciated.
Here is my response:
Hi M.,

My first thought when I read your message is that you probably don't live in the USA, am I right? I say that because although a lot of doctors here say to stop at 3 c-sections, I have never heard of one advising an abortion for the reasons you listed.

Were your first 3 c-sections normal? Did you have any adverse reactions to the procedure or the anesthesia/epidural/spinals?

To give you an idea how laid back doctors are here (in the state I live) about c-sections- I have had 5, a former neighbor had 4, a friend at church had 4, my doctor's sister-in-law had 5, a lady in my mother's group had 4, and I have met many other ladies online that have had 4 or more.
One lady I met through a c-section group has had 11. Another had 7 c-sections. The one who had 7 did develop placenta percretta during her 7th. pregnancy and had to have a hysterectomy afterwords, but and her baby are fine. Her name is Sabrina and I believe her birth story is listed under my c-section link up top.

If your doctor is that concerned about your pregnancy, then you need to find a new doctor ASAP. You need a doctor that is confident enough as a surgeon that they are not scared at the prospect of a 4th, 5th, or 6th. c-section. Try to find a doctor that is pro-life and pro-family.

I'm telling you all this because I want you to know that although the risks do go up with a 4th. c-section, many doctors are not concerned about women having a 4th. when there have been no complications with the first 3. If it is uncommon where you live, then you are going to have to work harder to either find a doctor experienced in delivering 4th. + c-sections, or a doctor that is a highly skilled surgeon and is confident in what he/she does.

Keep reading positive stories and try to find a good doctor. Read as much as you can about how to make this birth a good experience and try not to worry.

M., if you read this, I'm sorry I didn't receive your message earlier because I would have encouraged you to keep your baby and enjoy the blessing that child would bring to your life. I hope that you were able to find joy in your pregnancy and look past the fear and that your c-section went smoothly.

All the best,


  1. Oh my...I sure hope that M gets this message and can respond back that she continued on with the pregnancy and had a positive outcome! This type of story breaks my heart...and while I'm certain that there are doctors out there advising against continued c-section pregnancies, I think the trend is turning and so many more women are advocating for themselves and what they want!

    I've missed your glad you're feeling a bit better!

  2. I think that was a woman I sent your way from a forum. I can't recall her username and she didn't stick around the forum very long. I also pray she decided to go through with it.

  3. Very good advice, Morgan. Based on the tone of her letter, I'm believing that she carried her baby, and prayerfully, had a healthy delivery experience.

    Maybe others who are seeking advice will continue to find you in the future.

  4. Hello I'm 4 weeks pregnant with my 5th child and I'm getting pretty tired of hearing everyone say omg ur having another one!! I have kids who are 15,10,8 and 3 had no complications with them and in fact when my doc was closing me up from my baby he said I looked good to have number 5


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