To the reader who was pregnant with her 4th...

Last night, I received an e-mail from a reader, M., who was pregnant with her 4th. child. I typed a message back, but when I clicked, "send", the message was bounced back to me. It stated that M.'s e-mail address didn't exist. After looking at the original message again, I realized that it was dated April 2011! Somehow M.'s e-mail took 10 months to reach my inbox. Although M.'s message was so long ago, I would like to share it here as well as my e-mail back. Maybe someone else reading this is in a similar situation as M. and needs encouragement too.

M.'s e-mail:

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Hello, My name is M., I have 3 children all born by c-section aged 14, 12 and 8 i just found out this week that I'm about 5 weeks pregnant.

When i was 17 i had my ovary taken out and then after my 3rd baby i had an ectopic pregnancies and my tube was taken, At which time i was told i would not be able to fall pregnant again. So almost 5 years on i was very shocked to find out iam in fact pregnant.

I went to the Doctors today who has advised me not to have the baby, as he thinks you should not have any more then 3 c-sections. I felt the doctors crying and feeling sick to my stomach, when i got home i started looking on the internet and found many women who have had 4, 5, 6 even up to 8 c-section, Which made me feel a bit better after reading this. I'm still very scared as i want this baby more then any thing. Any advice you could please give me would be very appreciated.

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Here is my response:

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Hi M.,

My first thought when I read your message is that you probably don't live in the USA, am I right? I say that because although a lot of doctors here say to stop at 3 c-sections, I have never heard of one advising an abortion for the reasons you listed.

Were your first 3 c-sections normal? Did you have any adverse reactions to the procedure or the anesthesia/epidural/spinals?

To give you an idea how laid back doctors are here (in the state I live) about c-sections- I have had 5, a former neighbor had 4, a friend at church had 4, my doctor's sister-in-law had 5, a lady in my mother's group had 4, and I have met many other ladies online that have had 4 or more.

One lady I met through a c-section group has had 11. Another had 7 c-sections. The one who had 7 did develop placenta percretta during her 7th. pregnancy and had to have a hysterectomy afterwords, but and her baby are fine. Her name is Sabrina and I believe her birth story is listed under my c-section link up top.

If your doctor is that concerned about your pregnancy, then you need to find a new doctor ASAP. You need a doctor that is confident enough as a surgeon that they are not scared at the prospect of a 4th, 5th, or 6th. c-section. Try to find a doctor that is pro-life and pro-family.

I'm telling you all this because I want you to know that although the risks do go up with a 4th. c-section, many doctors are not concerned about women having a 4th. when there have been no complications with the first 3. If it is uncommon where you live, then you are going to have to work harder to either find a doctor experienced in delivering 4th. + c-sections, or a doctor that is a highly skilled surgeon and is confident in what he/she does.

Keep reading positive stories and try to find a good doctor. Read as much as you can about how to make this birth a good experience and try not to worry.

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M., if you read this, I'm sorry I didn't receive your message earlier because I would have encouraged you to keep your baby and enjoy the blessing that child would bring to your life. I hope that you were able to find joy in your pregnancy and look past the fear and that your c-section went smoothly.

All the best,